“Popularity ends any day, but self-love lasts forever”Tweet
You can become a popular person. To a degree, everyone wants to be popular, whether people admit it or not.
Today, being “popular” has a negative connotation to it. People who want to become popular are considered superficial and even narcissistic. Still, it’s human nature to desire popularity.
For this reason, I want to share information about popularity and validate your desire for recognition. I also want to remind you it’s more essential to create a meaningful life.
These 7 things about popularity can help you to decide what kind of popular person you want to become.
1- People on Social Media Work Hard to Become Popular
Yes, I think social media has created a superficial kind of world. But if you are thinking that being social media famous or an influencer is easy, you’re mistaken.
Influencers are super organized, self-motivated, and resilient. They work REALLY hard every day. These famous people with thousands of followers have grit.
Influencers plan their days ahead of time, get up early every day, do content research, travel to different destinations for photos, play dress up and edit photos and videos.
After, they take time to post their content on different social media channels and respond to their followers! Influencers also have mastered other technical and marketing skills. They remain creating, learning, and building.
Being popular on social media takes work, and it sounds super exhausting to me. And I’m not even mentioning all the emotional and financial sacrifices they make to have that lifestyle.
Also, can you imagine living your life in a certain way to ensure you continue to be liked by others? This type of job is not for everyone and my respect to all influencers.
2- Picture-Perfect Popular People Are Dangerous
In recent years, the power of social media has enabled people to embrace a “status-based” world.
This doesn’t necessarily lead to true happiness, increased confidence, or self-respect. Most of the time, social media use can lead to depression and feelings of loneliness.
An article by Healthline, a health news provider from San Francisco, warns the adverse effects of “curated lives” you see on social media can leave you feeling lonely and unfit.
Today picture-perfect lives = popular, but picture-perfect doesn’t make you feel more connected to others. An most of the time, perfect photos are staged. The majority of popular people on social media have also become obsessed with perfection.
And this is very dangerous because it only leads to a sense of personal imperfection and unrealistic expectations about life. So be careful with picture-perfect popularity on social media.
3- There Are Two types of Popularity: Likability and Social Status
You can be popular for being likable or for having a desirable social status. For many people, it’s possible to be popular for both.
Likability correlates with internal desires such us wanting to become a better person and feeling happy. It doesn’t need the external approval of others for you to feel good about it, and you can control it!
Likable people are more flexible and friendlier. They tend to put more value on people and relationships. So, if they are going to get ahead in life, they are more likely to do it without harming you.
Social status, however, correlates with the external gratification you get from others, such as fame or admiration. This type of popularity is hard to achieve and shouldn’t be your primary focus because you can’t control it!
For the most part, people who want to be popular for social status are more likely to have stronger personalities. Also, they tend to be more aggressive. They don’t play nice to get what they want.
4- It’s Better to Be Likable than Famous
Likability is the best form of popularity. According to Psychology Today, it’s the key predictor of having success in all areas of your life.
Likability is so essential to your happiness because when you are likable, you have the ability to connect with others and build fulfilling relationships.
Mitch Prinstein, on his book Popular: The Power of Likability in a Status-Obsessed World, explains likable people tend to have more friends and better jobs. They communicate better and have better relationships with themselves and others.
Likable people are friendly and can make other people feel happy, valued, and included. In return, likable people also experience a higher level of happiness.
Prinstein mentions many celebrities, as well as high-status people in society, are not happier even with their high social status. Many of them suffer from substance abuse and suicide attempts because, psychologically speaking, social status based popularity is difficult to manage.
There can be multiple reasons for this. But one common factor is after you have fame and material things, it’s easier to feel without purpose.
Also, you might start doubting your decisions and be suspicious of people who seek to be close to you. You might even resent people for thinking they care about your fame and status and not about your ‘true self.’
So being likable is a better predictor for a fulfilled life. But remember is all about balance, so no need to obsess here with being likable all the time. Instead, be considerate to others, use common sense, and try to show that you care.
5- Social Status Can Help You to Become Popular but Not Happier
After you meet basics needs such as safety, shelter, and food, it’s natural to move on to find social status. Social status includes the desired to be recognized by others, and why not? To be admired 😉.
Social status also refers to the measurement of your social value. This sounds cold but your social value includes your social class. For example: For work – it would mean holding a well regarded job by society such as CEO or Doctor.
Social status also refers to the material things that you have. Such as the type of home you own, the car you drive, and the clothes you wear. It’s also linked to being powerful and influential.
Social status looks different around the world and communities. Research shows that the pursuit of social status is fundamental to your life and keeps you motivated.
However, being respected and valued by your friends and community boost your happiness in a way social status can’t. So it’s important to work hard for a better social status.
But the key is to focus on building meaningful relationships on your way to success. If you can focus more on ways to help others with your success, you can make social status more significant.
6 – Likability is a Skill You Can Learn!
If like me, you weren’t born with this skill, you can learn it! You see, growing up, I didn’t know a critical factor to be likable is communicating well with others.
I didn’t know how to resolve conflicts with other kids, and this was hard because I was often involved in disputes at school that led to unhappiness and resentment.
Many conflicts are due to miscommunication. Excellent communication is one of the most important skills you can have. The sooner you learn it, the better as it can help you to improve relationships and get along with others.
Communicating well can lead to more likability. But in addition to excellent communication, likable people are kind, consistent, and genuine. They don’t take advantage of others, but instead, they always look for opportunities to help.
Likable people tend to be self-aware, so they don’t get easily offended by other people’s opinions. They don’t seek attention, don’t judge others, and accept people for who they are.
7- Popularity Doesn’t Last Forever
Your self-worth can’t be measured by your popularity. Everything that goes up can come down. I’m a stronger believer that everything in life besides God and Love is temporary.
So, if you are on your way to popularity today, remember to be kind to yourself and others. Enjoy the journey and focus on the relationships you will build and think about giving back to your community.
Instead of focusing on being popular, focus on how you want to be remembered. This might help you to create a more meaningful popular life.